Friday, 19 April 2013

Festival survival guide

We're all ready well into April and my gosh where is this year going, pretty soon it will be time for us all to put on our wellies,head of into the sun or most likely rain and sleep drunkenly in a field for a weekend. Who knows we might even see a band or two.

Having survived 8 festivals in my time (6 Leeds festivals, one Sonisphere and one Download) I feel in a good position to give you lot some handy tips. Unfortunately what I can't do is help you carry your not so light packing into the festival, stop your tent from leaking or make the toilets cleaner. But here goes:

  1. Don't take anything that you will be scared to loose. I'm fully aware every magazine on the planet drills it into our little brains that a pair of Ray Bans are an essential for festivals but these cost a fair bit and have a good chance they will come back with a lens missing. 
  2. Dry shampoo, baby wipes, face wipes etc are your best friend, don't expect the showers to be clean.
  3. The cleanest toilets are in the quietest camp-sites! The port-a-loos in the arena will also be nicer then the camp sites. There are some times the treat of special clean toilets you can pay for so look out for these.  Don't ever expect toilet roll so shake what your mother gave you or carry tissues!!
  4. Camping chairs are like gold dust, leave one outside your tent unguarded and its up for grabs. I'm sorry but this will happen. (not by me i'm nice).
  5. If your going to a festival at the end of summer Leeds or Reading anyone? If you don't have a tent leave it late to buy one after July you will find all camping shops have sales on.
  6. Keep your tent clean and mud free by taking a tent with a porch to store your muddy wellies.
  7. Its cold on a night! Take warm clothing or drink more!
  8. Don't expect anyone to help you carry your things in, everyone breaks there back entering a festival don't expect sympathy. Man up.
  9. Don't camp too close to a foot path, this lead to the download incident of 2012 when my friends tent was bulldozed by a fire truck. Its also noisier and you have the greatest chance someone will stomp on the corners of your tent.
  10. Make friends with the people around you.
  11. Don't expect sleep, it might by 6am but for the cools kids the party isn't over yet. Expect noise.
  12. Festival food is delicious! As much as you may be expecting a few greasy burger vans you could not be more wrong. The larger festivals will often have more food stalls then you can think of. There's every type of cuisine known to man at festivals but you can expect to pay around £7.00 - £9.00 for a meal. 
  13. Walking back to your tent at night will become an obstacle course of guide ropes .Take a torch and keep it with you.
  14. At some point you will loose your friends,when you do make new ones, find yours later. Unless your new friends are much cooler. 
  15. Festival beer costs more than a gram of gold, load your self up like a pit pony and carry as much as you can in with you. No festival allows glass so tip spirits into plastic bottles.
  16. Since your spirits are getting tipped into plastic bottles, unless you know your Smirnoff from your stoli, just take the cheap stuff. 
  17. There's always that one friend who arrives a day later then the rest. At all cost avoid going to meet them! You will become there mule! They will off load there bags onto to anyone!
  18. No matter how long the big TV camera stays on you for, keep your top on. Please. Your dad may even be watching BBC3.
  19. Please refrain from bringing a guitar. Its 2013 not woodstock 1969 and no one wants to hear your rendition of wonder-wall when we could be at a silent disco.
  20. Take your own poncho! As soon as it rains those plastic pieces of tat will be worth more then then gate's children's inheritance. 
  21. As much as the arena seems a long long way away when your happily sat at camp with your friends with a beer in hand, do remember you didn't pay in excess of £200 to see no bands. 
  22. If you are going to have a tent night stand be safe!
  23. Finally enjoy self. 
  24. Make memories.
  25. Take photos.
Have you lot any good tips?

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